The Monkey with Its Hand in the Sweetmeat: The Enneagram Passions and Fixations
Thomas Keating begins Invitation to Love with a story I have never forgotten.
In parts of Africa, local planters would hollow out a coconut and place a certain sweetmeat inside that they knew the monkeys that were raiding their banana plantations could not pass up. A small opening, about the size of a mailbox, allowed a monkey to slip its hand into the coconut.
The monkey would grab the sweetmeat.
But there was a problem.
An open hand fit through the opening sideways.
A closed fist did not.
The monkey could escape at any moment.
It simply had to let go.
Instead, it grasped harder clinging to the sweatmeat.
The local planters-now hunters!-slowly approached the miserly monkey who though aware that they are approaching couldn’t seem to just let go and escape to freedom without its precious sweatmeat.
Keating uses this image to describe something profound about the human condition.
How often do we cling to what we believe we must have in order to be okay?
Approval.
Control.
Being right.
Certainty.
Security.
Success.
The tragedy is not that we reach for these things. That’s quite natural. The tragedy is that we begin to believe and identify with our inner narratives that whisper to us that we cannot live without them.
The spiritual journey is not primarily about becoming someone else.
It is about discovering that our freedom has been there all along.
Sometimes freedom begins with something surprisingly simple.
Opening the hand.
In Enneagram terms…
The “sweetmeat” is whatever we become convinced we must possess in order to be okay. It’s a kind of ego idealization.
The passion is the emotional energy that closes the hand.
The fixation is the story that convinces us to keep it closed.
Contemplation is the grace that reminds us we have another option. Contemplative practice helps us practice the inner gesture of letting go of our story and returning to the now without our story at the center of it all.
Number by Number
A Question to Sit With
No need to fix it. In fact, “fixing” can actually be a form of sweatmeat.
Just notice. Notice–pause–and–allow yourself to notice the inner “clinging” and “grasping,” fist-like gesture that’s so characteristic of our everyday ordinary mental and emotional egoic reactivity that typically goes on non-consciously without our conscious attention.
See if you can … pause … and feel, and sink into a profound noticing this week.
In the Awareness to Action approach to growth, each Enneagram Type or “Number” represents an adaptive strategy that represents a non-conscious or “pre-conscious” striving to feel a certain way in order for one’s inner world to feel ok again. This striving in and of itself isn’t bad nor wrong … it’s when we forget that it is merely ONE of Nine perfectly valid adaptive strategies and end up identifying with IT as the whole picture that things get dicey and the local planters, now as “hunters move in and roast us and eat us.” The hunters represent our afflictive emotions which are chiefly fear, anger, panic/grief, discouragement, and/or apathy-indolence.
What follows is a list of the Nine Strategies to be used as a prompt of sorts for inner noticing this week. The adaptive strategies are largely non-conscious ways we go about getting our basic needs for embodied empowerment, relational connection, and predictability for safety and security about what’s coming next met. We develop true strengths here which is not a problem. It’s when we overdo our strengths and continue using the preferred strategy in maladaptive ways that we tend to get “stuck.” The following exercise prompt and encouragement is meant to jumpstart inner awareness around this!
E1
1s strategy is a striving to feel perfect (Priorities: Doing the right thing; being a good person)
E2
2s strategy is a striving to feel connected (Priorities: Successful relationships; making connections)
E3
3s strategy is a striving to feel outstanding (Priorities: Recognition though achievement and/or a successful image)
E4
4s strategy is a striving to feel unique or special/exceptional (Priorities: Living with personal authenticity and meaning)
E5
5s strategy is a striving to feel detached (Priorities: Knowledge, expertise, and personal autonomy)
E6
6s strategy is a striving to feel secure (Priorities: Security through understanding, questioning, preparedness, and dependability)
E7
7s strategy is a striving to feel excited/stimulated (Priorities: To enjoy life fully with many pleasurable options, possibilities, and keeping options open)
E8
8s strategy is a striving to feel powerful (Priorities: Personal empowerment, fairness, and direct action)
E9
9s strategy is a striving to feel peaceful (Priorities: Harmony, comfort, being unbothered, and inclusion)
